Sunday, February 26, 2006

El-ahrairah's favorite President

(Posted from an e-mail at his request -- CH)

So where does your favorite President stand?

As I was perusing the part of the Internet that Air Force Network Nazis haven’t yet blocked (don’t worry, they will soon enough), I noticed this Yahoo! News item. Since the world “scholars” appeared in the heading, that is a keyword for pointy-headed academics who sit around all day and try to change the outcome of history according to their own inherent bias. For example, when I was in school, Christopher Columbus was a great man who discovered America. Nowadays, he is an oppresive white European male whose “discovery” led to the rape of the Western Hemisphere and the subugation of all native peoples who were living in kumbayah harmony before “white man” showed up and started exercising his jingoistic imperial aggression over them. But I digress.

Anyway, these scholars decided to rate the worse Presidential Errors on a scale of 1 to 10. Number #1 was President Buchanan who did little to prevent the southern states from seceeding from the Union before the Civil War. Number #2 was President Andrew Johnson who became president after the assassination of President Lincoln and did nothing beyond abolishing slavery to improve the fate of freed slaves after the Civil War. Number #3 was yet another Johnson, Lyndon Baines Johnson, who escalated the Vietnam War without a plan for victory (sound familiar?). Number #4 was Woodrow Wilson’s refusal to compromise on the Treaty of Versailles after World War I, thereby setting up World War II. Number #5 was “Tricky Dick” Nixon and his involvement in Watergate. Number #6 was James Madison’s failure to keep us out of the War of 1812. Number #7 was Thomas Jefferson’s Embargo Act of 1807. Number #8 was John F. Kennedy and the his involvement in the Bay of Pigs invasion. Number #9 was President Ronald Reagan and the Iran-Contra scandal and finally, Number #10 was President “I feel your pain” Clinton and the Monica Lewinsky scandal.

Does anyone notice anything missing from this list? Anything at all? Anyone? Bueller? If you said “Where is President Jimmah Cahtah and his Iran Hostage fiasco?”, you win a kewpie doll. Anyone who lived thru that fiasco would have no problem in putting him up there in the top five biggest Presidential blunders. Obviously the people who put this list together are still entralled with Jimmah Cahtah since they put Reagan’s Iran-Contra “scandal” on the list (Personally, I don’t see what the problem was. It was just Congress getting themselves in a snit because Reagan found a way around their meddling). I guess you have to be a real, hardcore pointy-head to understand both #6 and #7 (I always thought that the War of 1812 was a great American victory. Stupid me.) and why they were mistakes bigger than President Cartah’s rolling over to a bunch of low-rent terrorists from a third-world nation. We are still paying for Jimmah Cartah’s wanting to play nice and negotiate with terrorists instead of making downtown Tehran a ”glass parking lot”. In fact we are still paying for Kennedy’s Bay of Pigs fiasco (Castro still in power) and Johnson’s Vietnam War fiasco (A whole flower-power generation of 60’s dead-enders who are in government now). Isn’t it interesting that the last four Democratic presidents (Kennedy, Johnson, Carter and Clinton) have all been clearly inept?


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