Tuesday, April 11, 2006

News of the most important sporting event in the world

This year, during the month of June in Germany, the biggest sporting event in the world will take place. No, I'm not talking about anything as silly as the Olympics or the NBA playoffs. For all the unwashed A-mer-cun masses out there, I'm talking about something more important than live and death, I'm talking about the finals of the World Soccer Cup. The US qualified for the 32-nation competition and is currently ranked 5th in the world (although the performance in our from our latest games you would highly doubt it).

Since Germany is the host country, they are getting ready for the influx of soccer fans from around the world to see this sports competition. Saudi Arabia qualified for the competition and the hotel in Bad Nauheim (not far from Friedrichsdorf north of Frankfurt) is removing all un-Islamic influences like in-room porno movies and alcohol to either avoid tempting/corrupting the morals of the visiting Saudi soccer team.

Some members of the public may think that this is a very multicultural, respectful thing to do, BUT they would be very mistaken. In America, we say "What happens in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas". In Saudi Arabia, "What happens outside of the Saudi Arabia, stays outside of Saudi Arabia". The members of the Saudi soccer team are probably looking forward to being outside in "Infidelland" to indulge in all those eeeevvvviiiiillllll Western infidel practices and now will be greatly disappointed (at least at the hotel). Kind of like Sir Lancelot saving Sir Galahad from "certain peril" at the hands of Zoot and her "not used-to-handsome knights" hench-girls (all between the ages of 16 to 19 and half years old) at Castle Anthrax.


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