El-ahrairah's Iraq Diary, Page Two

(Posted from an e-mail at his request -- CH)

Well, yet another week under the bridge until my Iraqi vacation is finished. Nothing much happened this week other than the terrorists tried to (switch to Ross Perot voice) "take me out" once this week, but they failed. Ha! The Great El-ahrairah laughs at their puny attempts.

Anyway, it looks like the monsoon season has arrived since it’s raining outside, turning everything into reddish-brown mud. Yuck! or as my sainted Italian wife says, "Uffa, la muffa". It probably wouldn’t be that bad if we had decent drainage, but the rain just sits in puddles everywhere and mud gets tracked everywhere. Lucky for us, we don’t live in tents anymore. The temperature here could be compared to Southern Utah or Las Vegas in the winter. I’m hoping for the freak Iraqi snowstorm to really make things "interesting".

Since I’ve been here before, I have pretty well fell into my "groundhog day" existence because I don’t have to go wandering around the base playing tourist ("Wow, check it out! Tanks! The real heavy metal!"). I get out of bed between 0630 and 0700 and schlep to the chow hall for breakfast. The chow hall serves typical American breakfast fare (no wimpy croissants and quiche here) and we even get to eat "evil" pork products. I pretty well eat the same thing for breakfast since I’m basically lazy and not too motivated to try new and different things early in the morning.

After breakfast, I go back to the room, do some reading (I read the Holy Scriptures and alternate between Dante’s Purgatorio and my "war porn" book, the Encyclopedia of the World’s Battles) until about 1000 when I go running. After a good 30 to 40 minutes of beating my feet against the pavement, I return home where I take my shower and then walk to work to arrive there between 1130 and 1200. At 1730, we take the van and drive to dinner. On the way, we swing by the housing area and pick up two other civilians who work the night. I leave work around 2300 and walk back to the housing area to where I’m usually in bed around midnight.

The military has things that we can do to kill the monotony, but most of them don’t interest me all that much. You can check out video game consoles at the Rec Center, but Halo 2 doesn’t interest me all that much. Speaking of Halo 2, I think the game basically sucks for a FPS (first-person shooter). I cut my teeth on Doom/Hexen/Heretic and the aliens in Halo 2 remind me of something you would see in Animal Crossing. If you don’t know what Animal Crossing is, it’s basically a game for non-violent, vegetarian, cross-dressing Gandhi types who live in the Pacific Northwest and believe that all the problems in the world are a direct result not signing the Kyoto Treaty and the BusHilterCheneyHalliburton war on terror. Ergo, my French ex-wife bought it for my son.

Anyway, the normal highlights of a typical work week in the US don’t exist if you are at work every day. Monday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, it’s all basically the same. The only things to look forward to are sports. Right now, it’s the NFL. BTW, go Redskins! Beat Seattle!

Well, got to go. Before I go, I read about Ariel Sharon’s stroke. Before his stroke, he was reviled by the left for daring to even think that he could solve Israel’s Palestinian problem without the involvement of the UN, etc. Now, those some people are wondering about how Israel will continue without him. For a great illustration of the hypocrisy of the left, check out Liberal Larry’s blog. Remind you of anyone of a liberal persuasion?