Gee, I guess Gitmo isn't that bad after all

In what can only be described as something straight from the pages of Playboy, we now find out that Muslim prisonners were "tortured" at Gitmo by being interrogated by "prostitutes and lap-dancers". As was pointed out by Larry the Liberal, this sounds like something from his brother's batchelor party.

I'm sure that revelations like these will cause many more young, disaffected Muslim men to join Al-Qaeda, in the hopes that, they too can be captured and "tortured" ("Oh Yes! Torture me! I've been a BAD terrorist!"). Certain segments of the Hollywood movie industry (porn films) will want to do a "documentary" on the "abuses" of Gitmo so that the public can be "informed" on just what goes on in this "hell hole". Larry the Liberal has reported that former President Clinton and Senator Kennedy are already planning a top-secret, "fact-finding" mission.

When I was in the Marine Corps, we were trained to withstand various torture techniques (OK, we weren't, but it sounds good), but I doubt that even I, the Great El-ahrairah could hold out against torture techniques involving beautiful women, bras, thongs, mini-skirts and free lap dances ("OK, I'll give you five hours to stop that before I reveal the secret weapons stash, you infidel harlot!"). This kind of reminds me of the Castle Anthrax, evil Zoot and Sir Galahad The Chaste. How 'bout you Cap'n? See any parallels?