The party of "doom and gloom"

Just in time for the end of the convention, the Labor Department released figures showing that the economy added 144,000 jobs in August 2004, pushing the unemployement rate to 5.4%, the lowest level since October 2001. No word yet on if there will be an bi-partisan congressional investigation about the "suspicious" circumstances on the release of this good news for President Bush.

Since the president is a Republican, the "unbiased" news media are downplaying this fact. If he had been a Democrat, the "unbiased" news media would be treating him like the "sun shown out of his posterior", like they did in the bad old days of Bill "I did not have sex with that woman (when talking about his wife)" Clinton.

Even with this good news, the John Kerry "Doom and Gloom" Tour of 2004 found something to complain about stating that "previous presidents had faced wars and recessions, but not one of them has failed to create a single job" except for President Bush. Um, maybe I'm an idiot, but I don't see how 144,000 jobs last month equals no jobs created.

Oops! I forgot. For Democrats/liberals/loves of BIG guv-mint, private enterprise doesn't create jobs, BIG guv-mint programs that cost billions and billions of dollars create jobs (for Washington burocrats at least).

So, the moral of this story is: Vote Republican if you are optimistic and proud to be an American. Vote Democratic if you are pessimistic and ashamed to be an American. Or just leave the country. Just don't let the screen door hit you in the butt as you leave.